Have you ever had days or moments where you are stepping outside of your comfort zone, facing your fears, only to be met with what seems like more resistance?
Obstacles that all of a sudden pop up and you might find yourself saying “why is this happening to me?!” or “not today, please not today of all days!”.
Many people say things like: “it’s a sign from the Universe that I shouldn’t be doing this.” Thinking that all of the resistance being felt means that you should take a step back, retreat and not move forward.
This my friends, couldn’t be further from the truth.
Through my journey of personal development, I have learned that in fact, all of this resistance that circles around you is really just the Universe making sure you are committed. It’s also a challenge, that if recognized, can empower & teach you how to move forward with your goals.
This is the first test.
The biggest ‘aha’ moment I had for myself with this law was when I booked a Coaching Intensive with one of my favourites, Heather Petherick, on November 9, 2017.
I had coached with Heather twice previously, I knew I was ready to make some changes and I knew that this intense coaching program would push me hard outside of my comfort zone. Often times we hire coaches to help us through those decisions that deep down, we already know the answer to. I had made a decision that I was going to be completely open, coachable and be 100% committed to my growth. I was excited, nervous & had my game face on. I told the Universe that change was going to happen.
And guess what?! The Universe tested me.
I don’t remember all of the details leading up to the session, I just remember that work was crazy, my kids were sick, and it seemed that so many things were testing my commitment to attending that session. My emotions were already running high & feelings of self doubt on “upleveling” myself were on overdrive.
And the “straw that broke the camels back” was on the morning of my intensive. I realized it was November 9th, the day that my cousin Elliot, who passed away 9 years earlier, would have celebrated his 34th birthday. My heart cracked wide open and I wept all morning while I tried to pull it together.
I remember thinking, why today of all days?!
When I walked into that coaching session, Heather asked me how I was. I told her everything that had been happening that week and that me being there was a miracle. And then I told her about Elliot.
I remember she said we have to talk about him, she allowed me to cry & get it all out.
And then she asked me a question that I will never forget.
Why is it that you are feeling like the Universe has presented you with this today? Tell me what he meant to you.
It all became incredibly clear in that moment. Deep down, I knew the answer and I knew that Heather wouldn’t back down from me accepting the answer.
You see, one of the reasons I hired Heather was because I had been wrestling with feelings of inadequacy, feelings that all of what I had accomplished in my personal & professional life was not enough. That in fact I wasn’t a success. That the entrepreneurial path that I was deriving so much joy from, was not worthy of me feeling successful or joyful. And because I was not a “success”, I felt that I was making a mistake by continuing on the entrepreneurial path.
And one of the very few people who might understand & know why I was feeling this way, was Elliot.
How we are raised, the family environment that we are in, shapes our core & engrained beliefs that we continue to hold on to for years to come. They effect every decision we make on a subconscious level.
I come from an academic family. A family that celebrates the report card. A family that celebrates the next piece of paper with honours. A family that celebrates traditional ideas of success; move up the ladder in a secure job with a pension, get degrees & accolades that make the newspaper etc.
My mom recently found my grandparents old certificates & report cards from grade school. Notable mention to the Bachelor of Square Dancing certificate. Haha!
Growing up, Elliot was my counterpart. We were both A students. I had to work my butt off for it. Elliot seemed to breeze through everything! (In high school & University we took many classes together and he would always show up to a test, tell me he hadn’t studied, ask me a few questions about the content and then absolutely ace it and do better than me. NOT FAIR! #classicelliot )
If Elliot made the paper, I knew about it. If I made the paper, Elliot would know about it. That’s how my family worked.
I recognized in this coaching session that the reason I was feeling the way I was, was because of my inherent belief that success comes from the end result & a level of academic achievement. Anyone that is in business for themselves, knows that an entrepreneurs journey does not have an end point. There is no piece of paper, giving you a grade, that tells the world you’ve made it.
Once I acknowledged this belief, I was able to move forward and make better decisions. This belief has not gone away. It is in me forever and has served me well in many ways, however I now constantly challenge myself & notice how often it creeps into my thought processes.
When I look back on that day, it’s now easy for me to see the lessons & tests that have served a greater purpose.
And for those reading this, I want you to know that there is always something to learn from the Universe’s tests. We can overcome these tests by being honest & willing to listen deep within ourselves.
Drop me a line below and let me know what you think. Have you had experiences with the Universe testing you? Have you uncovered limiting beliefs from your past?
Pictured here is Elliot, me and our grandparents at our high school graduation, 2001. Miss you every day Elliot.