Are your kids really your why?

Are your kids really your why?

Since the rise of social media, I see women in business posting pictures of their kids with the caption “my why.”

It always made me feel uncomfortable, but I couldn’t explain why.

I would scroll past, give the post a like, make a comment, and then feel guilt that I didn’t feel the same way about my kids.

My kids are not my why.

Me and my beautiful children.

I couldn’t process my feelings at the time, but since my journey into self-discovery, personal & professional development, I now know those feelings weren’t coming from just anywhere.

Why didn’t I feel the same?

What I have come to discover in finding my own why is that I don’t believe that their kids are their true why.

I believe this is one way we are navigating the socially acceptable way with how we “should” do things as we transition into the side hustle society & rise of women in business. It’s a way for us to overcome the guilt and shame that a working mother who is passionate about something other than her kids feels.

Sometimes we all get confused with our true why, and we ignore the deep down emotional & intrinsic factors that motivate us to move forward each day with purpose.

Yes, you have to work to earn income to provide your kids with the basic needs of life. Most definitely, your kids are a part of your why on this level.

But if my kids were my only why, I would have stayed at my soul sucking 9-5 bank job forever.

If my kids aren’t my why, then what is you ask?

I think your why comes from many places.  Life experiences mixed together with your values & personality.

I have grilled my own why over the last few years and I am reminded of a specific incident in the 8th grade that planted the seed for me and my why.

I was both a smart, honours student, social & popular girl, that loved all things beauty, anything trendy & “girly.”

I remember an interaction I had with our schools Vice Principal. He was the type of guy that everyone loved. He was someone I looked up to, someone that I highly respected. He was a fun authority figure. Something that you didn’t run across all too often back then. #goals

One day, while in the hallway at school with a few of my girlfriends, he made a comment to me that forever changed who I was to become. I do not remember exactly what he said. But isn’t that how it goes? We don’t always remember what was said, but we always remember how people make us feel.

He said something about the fact that I couldn’t look the way I did, be the “type of person I was” and be a “successful & smart” person. My mom says she recalls the memory as him saying something like “blondes being beautiful and brainless.”

When I think back on that day, I still feel the pain, sadness & hurt his words caused me. This moment would begin my life long internal battle between my outward appearance, my natural love for all things beauty, what my brains could accomplish & what society would recognize as “success.”

It’s moments like this one, that I have countless examples of. Comments & subliminal messaging that constantly made me question whether or not I could have both brains AND beauty. And whether I could achieve “success” in a career that I was passionate about.

In recent years, I have come to realize the power of AND. Brains, beauty, success AND happiness are not mutually exclusive.

This is why I do what I do. This is the foundation for my drive and motivation.

Every day I see women doubting themselves & their abilities. And it’s because of messaging that they received very similar to the one I did.  (What is your story? Please share it with me below or in a private email). Every day I see the huge potential for beautiful & smart women to go after their dreams.

I want these women to know that yes, you CAN have both brains & beauty. You CAN be successful in whatever it is that you are passionate about. You CAN love what you do and you do not have to be ashamed by it.

When you love what you do, you create impact in all areas of your life. And that, my friends, is SUCCESS!

So F*&% you Mr. J.

Me and my tribe are kicking ass every day, building dream businesses, dream lives, raising beautiful families, being a force in contributing to the growth of society and yes, we are looking absolutely fabulous while doing it.

My fab Sunna Team. Women owned, operated & we love supporting the hundreds of women owned Sunna operated businesses across North America. #girlskickingass

What's your pop-culture business "motto"?

We all have quite a few “mottos” that drive us and keep us moving forward in business. I found a few pop culture sayings always helped motivate me at times. I wrote a insta post about my use of “if you build it, they will come” from the movie Field of Dreams. You can read it HERE. These sayings give us hope and some times a little laugh. And when you’re building a business, we all could use more fun!

The one motto I consistently used as I grew my spray tan business from zero to 6 figures, came from my pal, Eminem.

The spray tan industry is like the black sheep of the aesthetics industry. It’s unregulated, it’s fairly new, and many artists don’t have the experience or proper training. I quickly learned I had a big challenge to overcome since my market either never had a spray tan (due to fear) or if they did, 90% of them had a poor experience. This was an opportunity for me to change how clients experienced spray tanning.

#bizcoachbrandi #biztip

The bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity.

Each customer I put my heart & soul into. As soon as I opened the door to greet my customer, I wanted to set them at ease immediately. I focused intently on each and every person. I knew that I had 1 shot to either turn them away from spray tanning, or want them coming back for more.

As I began growing a team, I instilled this sense into each of my employees. Yes, it can be a little bit of that “all or nothing mentality”, but don’t worry, I didn’t scare them off completely from working for me! ;)

If they were still learning, maybe they didn’t give the most perfect tan, but what they did do was create a relationship. A relationship based on trust, respect, openness, and education.

My OrganicTan team and I, January 2018.

In a service based business it’s important to always remain vigilant with each and every customer that walks through your door. Each person is an opportunity to grow your business, to become a brand ambassador for you. Always put your client first and watch how your business grows.

Do you have a pop-culture business “motto”? Share it with me below or join in on the conversation on my Instagram HERE.